1018 word record my feeling is so complicated

The feeling now is so complicated. i have a boyfriend .sometimes he gives me a feeling that he loves me so much,but sometimes he leaves me a impression that he doesn't care me.n fact, there is a long long distance between us & we are so formless. Somtimes I prefer that no more than one word I can receive from him, so that I can stop fantasy.but I can say no word to him. Because I afraid to expose something to him.

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